New Year's Resolution

It’s been more than a month since I posted anything here. It’s not that I have been busy, just because I don’t have internet connection at my house yet; I’ll have to wait till tomorrow even to post this article.

My first month in Malaysia has really been pretty boring. I arrived on the morning of the 28^th; 24 hrs without a minute of sleep, now I know what Bauer feels like. We took a taxi from the airport to our hotel; we been me, mum, dad, sister, aunt and my cousin. Yup, a big group, we were all making a holiday out of my move to Malaysia. The taxi ride took about an hour, this I enjoyed; riding on the open road, seen a new country, seen the world famous twin towers in the distance. Kuala Lumpur wasn’t really that much different from some other cities I have been. The roads, the buildings, they all looked pretty much just like any other big city in Asia. Only those two towers in the horizon stood as a testament to the fact that I was indeed in Malaysia.

We stayed in serviced apartment building/hotel called Holiday Villa Apartment Suites. The lobby was small but very nice. But they made us wait an hour or so before we could go to our suite; something about the check in time of the hotel. The suite was nice, two rooms, one bathroom, a nice sitting room and a small attached kitchen area. The balcony had a nice view of the twin towers.

That night we went to the base of the Twin towers as it was very near to where we were staying. The towers were beautiful, all lit up. I did take pictures, but I think I am going to wait till I get my own internet connection to post them.

I did have internet connection at the hotel, but most of the time we were out, or dad was the one using it. December 10^th was the date that I had to go to the University, so the days before that were mostly spent at shopping centres like KLCC, Mega mall, Loyat etc...But this was mostly because our group was mostly of the female variety and all they wanted to do was shop. For god’s sake it’s a whole new country, and all you can think about is whether that hand bag or shoes will look good with your new dress? I sometimes watched movies, sometimes wandered around looking for cool stuff. I watched Quantum of Solace (Pretty good), Twilight (this one was just to say Hah Hah to all those lady friends back at home) and Body of lies (a little above boring).

Another thing I did was go with my dad to an area called Gombak, to find a place of accommodation for me. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. But finally it was decided that an apartment would be rented in my name, and I would find someone to share it with. Oh ya, I am looking for an apartment mate by the way, any help in this matter would be very much appreciated. Anyway an agreement was made with a landlord of an apartment called Idaman Putri to rent out a 3 room apartment to me (Even though three rooms I just need one roomie, the extra room is uuh lets say a guest room), however the apartment will be available only from January 16^th onwards.

So when it was finalised that I would get an apartment only on January 16^th, we moved out of the hotel suite (Mainly because we were running up a hell of bill there). We found an apartment in the same condo that I was scheduled to move into. This apartment was fully furnished an available on a day rent basis. It was actually better than the hotel room except for one thing. One CRUCIAL thing; you guessed it. No INTERNET, that’s like telling me I’m going to have to use a crutch for a while; not impossible but DAMN DAMN hard. And mobile internet been pretty expensive here, even that isn’t really a viable option.

After this came the really boring part, been stuck at home with nothing to do, just watching TV; and most of the time there was nothing good on it. Soon people started leaving as the holiday they had taken from work came to an end. First my aunt and her daughter left, then my dad and sister; now it’s just my mother and me, she will most likely leave in January. It was sad to see them leave, no tears were shed, but I certainly was very sad to see them go, and I know they were too.

Soon university classes started, and I met some Maldivians. A lively bunch, moderately lively hehe. The courses seem okay, law so far seems interesting, sometimes a bit try, but fine overall. There are some administrative issues I don’t like about the university, but I think pretty much everywhere it’s like that. I really haven’t made any Malaysian friends, except just this one kid. He seems okay, we just disagree on something’s. He thinks that we should totally concentrate on studies right now and forget about things like girlfriends and friends. Girl friends I kinda understand, but to put friends in that category is a bit too much.

This guy seems like an ambitious person, and I think he comes from a successful family, especially a father that expects something great from him. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am a very ambitious person. Even I myself on many occasions consider myself as over ambitious. But I wonder what over ambitious really means; is it to set ones goals above that which can be reasonably achieved, or is it place ones ambitions over everything else? My new Malaysian friend said that we can concentrate on this today, and later when we are 28 or something then we can find people. I know this is what a lot of people say’s, not just him. But this was the same thing I was told when I was in O’ levels and even in A’ levels. “Son, worry about this right now, you will have plenty of time to worry about everything else once this is over”. But “this” is never over, there is always a new “this”, and if you keep concentrating on just “this”, the rest of the world may pass you by; it won’t wait for you to finish “this”.

I am an ambitious person, a VERY ambitious person, I don’t see that changing. But I cannot give my whole life to it. I won’t sacrifice my other pursuits for it, my friends, or love or anything. True, sacrifices will need to be made to achieve one’s ambitions; however there is a line and one must make a choice which side of the line one wants to be on. Me? I am gonna be on the line, I will find some way to get what I want, I am going to stop concentrating on just “this” and go out there and get what I want. I am going to fulfill my ambitions while at the same time holding on to friends or love.....somehow I will do it. Consider that my new year’s resolution.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 EVERYONE!!!

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, Like diamonds, we are cut with our own dust.” – Duchess of Malfi (1623), Act V, Scene V by Jhon Webster

I Wont See You Tonight

It has always been my philosophy, my belief, that life is all about actions and consequences, the decisions we make, and how we live with those decisions. And every once in a while, we face decisions that define the rest of our lives. We make a choice that changes who we become, what kind of life we will live. Those actions make us into who we are today. I have faced one such fork in my road of life, though that choice I made did not end well, I do not regret making it, it was good while it lasted, and in the end I believe it made me a better person. And today, I again find myself at such a point in life, something that will most definitely change the rest of my life. Right now I am in an aeroplane, on my way to Kuala Lampur, Malaysia. At the moment we have made a pit stop at the Sri Lankan airport, and to my great pleasure, they have FREE WIFI, so I will try my best to wrap this up before the plane takes off.

This day has been in the making for quite some time now, and I have been telling everyone, that I am happy to leave, and that I won’t really miss a thing from home, and that really was how I felt, WAS been the key word there. A lot of my friends, especially Areej tried to convince me that I would in fact be missing Maldives, but I really didn’t see it that way. And that was how it was as months turned into weeks, and weeks into days until finally it was 48 hrs for me to leave. On that day before my departure, I got up as usual, not really feeling any sadness or anything, but that morning as I was in a taxi listening to some songs, the random shuffler on my iphone, brought up the song that pulled me into reality. Avenged Sevenfold’s I Won’t see you tonight Part 1. It’s not really a song about leaving like this, it’s really a song about suicide, but when the song was over, it was as if everything had crashed down on me. I was leaving, and I wouldn’t be back for a really long time. Then everything I saw, reminded me of something, of some distant memory, of a strange reality that I wouldn’t see those places and those faces for a long time.

It’s not really about family, family has been there my entire life, and I am sure they will still be the same even when I come back, it’s more about friends, and how they will change in my absence. It’s about the uncertainty of it all, about the friends, and possible lovers, about leaving them all. It’s about what could have been. About what I may be missing by leaving.

As the ferry took off from Male’ I looked at two of my closest friends who had come to see me off, looking at that knowing that I would not meet them again in person for a very long time. They smiled and waved, so did I, but my heart was filled with grief. And as the ferry started off towards the airport I looked at the buildings, each one a reminder, I looked at the building housing the Hulhumale’ ferry terminal, reminding me of my class reunion at Sea House, and the breakfast during Ramadan, and the recent diner I had at Ocean Breeze. I looked at the building that previously housed the Nasandhra Palace hotel, which had welcomed me for countless parties.

Arriving at the last moment at the airport, I was soon in the plane, ready for take-off. And as the world around me soon started moving as the plane started for its ascend, the sadness I felt, was almost as great as climax that resulted from the last life changing choice I made.

Today was a day I had been looking forward to so many years, it was a dream come true, a start of a new life, but yet, it was not like what I imagined. I never thought it would feel so sad to leave Maldives, because Malaysia, as far as I heard, was a much better place. And right now sitting here in my hotel room, completing this post, I know why. No matter how good this place is, it isn’t home. Who is going to call me about every interesting that happens now? Who will I call when I get bored? Who will call to talk about the latest series? Who will I hang with that I can relate to, and who really know me? I think I will even remember and cherish those most irritating days at work.

The beginning of this year left me shattered and broken, and it took me all I had to fight through that. And it was because of my most dear friends that I grew stronger through it. Without them I would probably still be sulking around in my room. Thank you all so much for that. It took a while, but life was finally picking up in Maldives, I had good friends, a good amount of cash (although yes, if I had stayed in Male’ I would have changed jobs), and maybe even a girl I was starting to like very much after quite sometimes. As I said, it’s all about what could have been, what would have all those things become if I had stayed? And will they all still be there when I come back? Will I be forgotten? Maybe even replaced? I know that my closest friends will welcome me with open arms when I come back, but things change, stuff happen. I will be hanging with them, and they will be talking about stuff I know nothing about because I was not there.

I all ready miss you all very much, (probably even more once my parents leave) playing video games, dining at restaurants, hanging out, throwing parties that really didn’t hit it off (well at least I met someone interesting there). Every little thing, both the good and the bad. And even though I won’t see you tonight, I will NEVER forget you all.

Thank you for everything.

Patriot

Today is a historical day for our country, the end of a 30 year old regime. But this post is not about how bad or good this change will be. Its about something I realized about myself, something that today I have accepted.
Patriotism has existed for a long time, people have achieved greatness in its name, while others have used it as an excuse to commit great atrocities, perhaps even convince themselves that those acts were needed.
Patriotism in essence means to love once country above all others. Above a specific government, above one's family, one's friends even one's self. But I wonder is it worth it to sacrifice even one's own family for the good of one's country. Its a different story if these people were acting directly against the country, but to simply hold the well been of the one's you love below ones country.
Today in this day of change, I have met different types of people, people who supported this change, people who accepted it, people who were willing to give it a try, and people who were "The new president is walking, he is the devil himself for doing that". I truly am not exaggerating about the last part, maybe not those exact words, but the same context had been used.
And what did I feel? Nothing...not a damn thing, not sad, not angry, not happy. And seen these people I have both decided and realized something, I love my country, I have I believe it can be so much better. And I truly hope that the new regime can achieve that. I never have and never will swear my allegiance to any government. I am a patriot, I have known this for sometime, but that word was hard to accept seen how it is used these days. I don't know how far I can carry that flag, above who all I can love my country, but I will give it my best try. I hope to achieve something great someday, and till then I will be watching, in hope that this country is now changing the better.

"Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace — but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" - Patrick Henry

"Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President or any other public official save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country." - Theodore Roosevelt

Dreams of a Monster

It seems this is the story that won out based on ratings. So here goes. I have written a chapter two for the story. Its not short, this story is in no way short. But I hope you like it.

Here's the Link

www.crimsontales.blogspot.com

The Minds of Men

Some say that people are generally bad, that they are rotten in the inside. Others say that they are good, that they can find goodness in the hearts of everyone. But the truth is, people are just stupid, they are neither good nor bad, just really stupid. Especially Maldivians.
We demand the luxury’s that the world has to offer, yet we are not willing to lift a finger to earn it. We rather blame others then work for what we want. Recently I herd something someone said. The inhabitants of a small island had been relocated to a bigger island due to some reasons. And one woman was saying “We had to leave a lot of our things in the island when we moved, and they are still in the island. We are just a few people, and so there are only a few things, even with the normal sea vessels we have, it can be brought in just two trips, but still the government has not brought the stuff for us”. This really shows what kind of people we are. Yes, I agree, if the government did move you, they are obliged to bring your stuff for you too. But, that doesn’t mean you keep on waiting till they do it for you. Its not like you were moved to the other side of the country. As you said, you guys could easily do it yourself. So what are you waiting for? Why don’t you do it? Simply as a matter of principle? That the government HAS to do it?
As I see it these days, what many, Maldivians want to do is just sit back and relax in there houses while the government does EVERYTHING for them. And there are people actually promoting this bull shit, and more importantly people believing it. As I said before, stupid.
A friend of mine said, places like Malaysia and Singapore got there independence around the same time as us, but look at how much they have developed, and look at us. True, but you cannot compare us to them; just getting independence isn’t a corner stone for development. Those countries were better known to the world, were bigger, and had more resources and people then us. Especially people. We think a country is who ever is at the top, the leaders; true they play an important role, but a country is its people. The people of those countries worked hard to achieve that development they had. There was once a time that even us Maldivians were like that. That the people of islands worked together, that they themselves were the people who built there infrastructure and worked hard for development. But then came along the people who claimed that was all wrong. That no one should have to lift a finger. And now that’s all we want to do, we say we want this and that, and then we wait for some government contractors of some foreign country to do it for us. Many say that the development this country has seen in the past years would have occurred over natural course no matter who was ruling. I am not hear to ay anything to that. But I know that we would have progressed even further if we hadn’t stopped believing that it was our own right and responsibility, as much as it is the governments to develop this nation. I don’t believe it will really make much of a difference in the lines of development and progress no matter who is ruling if we don’t realize that.
Democracy is a nice word, it has been plastered all over the media in many different forms, modern democracy, true democracy etc etc… Especially I have herd a lot that we are working towards a modern democracy, to be on par with the “leaders” of democracy in the world. But you know what? Following some other countries, norms and values isn’t a democracy, its something like copying off a test paper. I think most of us have forgotten that very famous phrase regarding democracy; “for the people, by the people, from the people”. A democracy is whatever we want it to be, within acceptable norms of human society and our religion. We do not have to follow some countries way of life saying that they are the so called leaders of democracy.
If you truly want this country to develop, know that you will have to play a part in that. If you want your life to be better, know that you will have to work to achieve that. It’s just stupid to believe that, someone else has to do everything for you. The government has its responsibilities, and so do you. As long as you can’t accept that, this country wont get much better, no matter who’s at the top.

Crimson Tale

I always liked writing stories, so i thought I'd give it a try. Below is a link to my blog Crimson Tale.

Crimson Tale

It currently has the Prologue of two stories:
Dreams of a Monster: This is a I guess fiction type story, read it and you'll understand what I mean. I don't want to give too much away.

In Your Memory: This story is more real life, as you can probably guess by reading the prologue its a love story.

I have made it so that my readers can rate the two prologues, I don't intend to continue both the stories. I'll leave the prologue there for a while, and continue which ever gets a higher rating.

I've Been Tagged....

Ok now its my turn....well here goes..

1. what's ur latest addiction? 24 (the series rocks)
2. what are u listening to? Gary Jules - Mad World (nice song, herd it from the series Jericho)
3. how late did u stay up last night n why? slept around 12, I was reading the book twilight....yes the same one for which a movie is gonna be released soon)
4. who were u with last friday night? I am not sure...but i think I was alone at home
5. do u think u'll be in a relationship 3 months from now? They way things are right now, I am pretty sure I wont be in one
6. when is the next time u'll see ur close friends? tomorrow probably
7. what were u doing this morning at 7am? getting ready to go to work
8. what radio station do u listen to the most? hmmmm don't really listen to much radio....but dhiFM i guess
9. what was the reason u last cried? cox I remembered some stuff....that's as much as i am gonna tell :P
10. have u ever talked to someone when they were high? ya mi hisaabuganduga ulheyne payteyn...somethimes they say stuff like "Part liteh nehtha, partu gadin kihaaireh tha"XD....well i guess answering them isnt actually talking
11. what's the fifth text in ur inbox say? I have three active e-mail accounts:P....heres one from my personal account "Account Activation"....hehe not really interesting huh
12. where was the last coffee shop u went to? where?....kinda stupid question aint it....rite here in male' of course:P
13. what's ur outfit right now? dark orange long-sleeved t-shirt and faded blue jeans
16. what were u doing at 11pm last night? hmmmm reading twilight
17. who was the last person u talked to last night before bed? my mum
18. will u be driving in a year? that's what I am hoping for
19. is there anything that u are craving right now? ya a good beef steak...I am always kinda craving for that XD
20. when did ur last hug take place? I actually dont remember....ya that loong :|
22. have u ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."? nah not really, but i rarely mean to offend anyone....my friends know that
23. Do u drink tea? a lot, i like tea....especially lemon tea
24. have u ever been arrested? no.....but mite be a good experience XD hehe...just kidding
25. have u rode in someone else's car today? does a taxi count?
26. have u made a mistake this past week? the past week no.....but i might have made one tonight....not sure yet
27. who was the last person u texted? a friend
28. are u happy with ur life right now? I've been happier
29. in the past 72 hr have u been under the influence of sleep? ofcourse
30. what's the connection between u and the last person u texted? close friend

I wud really like to know who came up with this, also I would ask him or her to learn to count:P....well anyway I tag Darky and Arky.....haha that rimes XD

I just liked the photo...thats all....