This Ain’t A love Song – Bon Jovi

I was reaaaaaly bored today, and was wandering around the internet, and saw this on facebook, I have done this before, but I thought, what the heck, it's not like I have anything better to do, so here goes :D

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.


IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
I Hate Everything About You – Three Day’s Grace

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Lonely - Akon

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GIRL?
Wasting Time - Red

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Friends Don’t Let Friend’s Dial Drunk – Plain White T’s

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Chapter One - Lifehouse

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race – Fall Out Boy

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Gone Forever – Three Days Grace

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Hand Of Blood – Bullet For My Valentine

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Lucifer’s Angel – The Rasmus

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Adrienne – The Calling

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Careless Whisper – George Micheal

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Same Direction - Hoobastank

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Suddenly I See – KT Tunstall

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Don’t Cry – Guns and Roses

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Till I Collapse - Eminem

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
Fighter – Christina Aguillera

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Why Me - Shaggy

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Superman – Five For Fighting

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
The Joke - Lifehouse

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Bonanza (Belly Dancer) - Akon

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
This Ain’t A love Song – Bon Jovi

Level's Of Love

The word love is certainly one word that will be in any language, and if they don’t, it is truly a sad society that they live in. Love is a word with a multitude of meanings, and perhaps one with no meaning at all. It has a million and one uses, and everyone uses and accepts this word in a different way. We jest with it; we show our affection with it, we show our gratitude with it and perhaps many more.

“I love you”, is perhaps one of the phrases that can have the greatest effect on one’s life. To hear it may consequence of feelings of, gratitude, happiness, jealously, hatred and perhaps even nothing at all. Today a lot of people are talking about types of love, I love you this way, I don’t love you that way. I think some people even consider sexual attraction as love, but just because you want to make out with someone or maybe even do more than that, doesn’t mean you are in love; it just means your hormones are on the fritz. But in my opinion, there are stages or levels of love, and once you fit those criteria there is no type of love. Below are what I deep to be the levels of love;

Friends: Simple friendship is the most common and simplest forms of love. The people included in this level are those who you generally meet but are not a big part of your life, classmates, co-workers, neighbours etc that you are on speaking terms with. You are not generally on close personal terms with them, you don’t really trust them, but you don’t distrust them either. You may not go to great lengths to be helpful to them or watch their back, but you will help them out if it’s not too inconvenient for you. You know what kind of people they generally are, but it’s not like we go sharing our deepest secrets with them either. This love is fragile and easy broken, it wouldn’t take much for one to doubt or turn on the people in this category. But we do love our friends, to some extent.

Best Friends: These are the friends who we have close personal bonds with, you know almost everything there is to know about them, and they know what is to know about you. You trust them with your secrets and in their actions. They are the people who you go for advice to and for help on your endeavours. Usually people have a very limited number in this category; two or three people or perhaps even one. You will generally go out of your way to help them out, and your life is greatly affected by your interaction with them. People do not easily turn on those who they truly consider best friends, and are reluctant to believe any outside comments they may hear. We all love our best friends, but we don’t say it, mostly because it sounds really gay. But we all know it, and once in a blue moon, we even say it.

Family: Family bonds are the hardest to describe. Apart from the fact that its one`s own flesh and blood, how much we love them also depends on many other circumstances. Some relatives may just be our friends, while others maybe our best friends. The bond of blood normally doesn’t hold when considering every relative, one may easily chose his best friend over a cousin or uncle. Blood is in this case insignificant without friendship. However when it comes to the immediate family; Mother, Father, Brother or Sister, in the very end, we do love them more than our friends, especially our parents. We may not know there history or they may not know every secret we have, but in this case the bond of flesh and blood does prevail in most cases over friends.

Love: I think this is the stage most of us ever reach in our lifetime; maybe some of us don’t even believe that there is something above it. This is the love that we feel for our significant others, for that someone special. Although many a people have argued, I do not believe you can love two people this way at the same time. You will love one person more, even if that choice is hard to make. This love is what makes us want to spend as much time we can with that person, the need to go that little extra mile, the need to show we care, the need to be loved. We trust this person to a great extent, we tell this person we love them, and we expect love in return. We expect the person to love us, to be with us, to hold us dear. You would go to a good extent to keep the person happy and be with the person. Although this love is not easily discarded, it goes away with lack of mutual love, trust and even by the bad decisions and actions of the other. One of the main fuel of this love, is to be happy while been with the significant other and making that person happy.

True Love: In this world of cynicism there is an only a handful of people who believe that true love even exists, I am one of them. To love someone with everything you have, beyond with just wanting to be with her. This is a rare occurrence, to selfishly love someone, to want most in the world to keep that person happy. Sometimes a person is so important and loved; the only way to keep them in your life is not to be with them in the usual way when one loves someone. Rather than ranting on let me say something that I may have perhaps even said in a previous post. To truly love someone, is to love her, for all her good, and for all her bad, and ask for nothing to change. To truly love someone, is to be happy that she is happy, to not just simply want to be with her, but to take her happiness as your own happiness. It is to really want to put your well been on the line, if it is to protect her. To think of a life without her in it and to know how empty it would be, to want to do anything and everything you can to keep her in your life, even if it means to never have her as your own. To put up with sorrow you may feel or wrong that may come to you. This is the kind of person you would trust with anything, the kind that would take something of great magnitude to turn your back to.

Undying, Unconditional Love: Whatever many things I maybe, I am no fool, even though I have included this category I do not believe it exists. Love fades, even true love fades. I am not saying it is doomed to fade from the start, I am saying it can fade. To love someone in this way, is to love them forever, despite all odds, despite all hardships, all sorrows, and wrong doings, to love them no matter how shitty or crappy it gets. This is simply not possible, no matter how you love them, even if you truly love them, we all have our limits, and there is only a certain amount of abuse to our life we can take. The threshold may be very high for some of us, but it is still there. You may truly love two or three people in your lifetime, but you cannot love one person forever despite how bad it gets. Again I am not saying you cannot love one person forever, or that it is highly likely that you can’t love one person forever. You just can’t love someone forever unconditionally, without getting any love and happiness and just getting wrong doings in return.

``When I saw you, I was afraid of meeting you.
When I met you, I was afraid of kissing you.
When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you, I'm afraid of losing you`` - Anonymous

New Year's Resolution

It’s been more than a month since I posted anything here. It’s not that I have been busy, just because I don’t have internet connection at my house yet; I’ll have to wait till tomorrow even to post this article.

My first month in Malaysia has really been pretty boring. I arrived on the morning of the 28^th; 24 hrs without a minute of sleep, now I know what Bauer feels like. We took a taxi from the airport to our hotel; we been me, mum, dad, sister, aunt and my cousin. Yup, a big group, we were all making a holiday out of my move to Malaysia. The taxi ride took about an hour, this I enjoyed; riding on the open road, seen a new country, seen the world famous twin towers in the distance. Kuala Lumpur wasn’t really that much different from some other cities I have been. The roads, the buildings, they all looked pretty much just like any other big city in Asia. Only those two towers in the horizon stood as a testament to the fact that I was indeed in Malaysia.

We stayed in serviced apartment building/hotel called Holiday Villa Apartment Suites. The lobby was small but very nice. But they made us wait an hour or so before we could go to our suite; something about the check in time of the hotel. The suite was nice, two rooms, one bathroom, a nice sitting room and a small attached kitchen area. The balcony had a nice view of the twin towers.

That night we went to the base of the Twin towers as it was very near to where we were staying. The towers were beautiful, all lit up. I did take pictures, but I think I am going to wait till I get my own internet connection to post them.

I did have internet connection at the hotel, but most of the time we were out, or dad was the one using it. December 10^th was the date that I had to go to the University, so the days before that were mostly spent at shopping centres like KLCC, Mega mall, Loyat etc...But this was mostly because our group was mostly of the female variety and all they wanted to do was shop. For god’s sake it’s a whole new country, and all you can think about is whether that hand bag or shoes will look good with your new dress? I sometimes watched movies, sometimes wandered around looking for cool stuff. I watched Quantum of Solace (Pretty good), Twilight (this one was just to say Hah Hah to all those lady friends back at home) and Body of lies (a little above boring).

Another thing I did was go with my dad to an area called Gombak, to find a place of accommodation for me. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. But finally it was decided that an apartment would be rented in my name, and I would find someone to share it with. Oh ya, I am looking for an apartment mate by the way, any help in this matter would be very much appreciated. Anyway an agreement was made with a landlord of an apartment called Idaman Putri to rent out a 3 room apartment to me (Even though three rooms I just need one roomie, the extra room is uuh lets say a guest room), however the apartment will be available only from January 16^th onwards.

So when it was finalised that I would get an apartment only on January 16^th, we moved out of the hotel suite (Mainly because we were running up a hell of bill there). We found an apartment in the same condo that I was scheduled to move into. This apartment was fully furnished an available on a day rent basis. It was actually better than the hotel room except for one thing. One CRUCIAL thing; you guessed it. No INTERNET, that’s like telling me I’m going to have to use a crutch for a while; not impossible but DAMN DAMN hard. And mobile internet been pretty expensive here, even that isn’t really a viable option.

After this came the really boring part, been stuck at home with nothing to do, just watching TV; and most of the time there was nothing good on it. Soon people started leaving as the holiday they had taken from work came to an end. First my aunt and her daughter left, then my dad and sister; now it’s just my mother and me, she will most likely leave in January. It was sad to see them leave, no tears were shed, but I certainly was very sad to see them go, and I know they were too.

Soon university classes started, and I met some Maldivians. A lively bunch, moderately lively hehe. The courses seem okay, law so far seems interesting, sometimes a bit try, but fine overall. There are some administrative issues I don’t like about the university, but I think pretty much everywhere it’s like that. I really haven’t made any Malaysian friends, except just this one kid. He seems okay, we just disagree on something’s. He thinks that we should totally concentrate on studies right now and forget about things like girlfriends and friends. Girl friends I kinda understand, but to put friends in that category is a bit too much.

This guy seems like an ambitious person, and I think he comes from a successful family, especially a father that expects something great from him. Anyone who really knows me knows that I am a very ambitious person. Even I myself on many occasions consider myself as over ambitious. But I wonder what over ambitious really means; is it to set ones goals above that which can be reasonably achieved, or is it place ones ambitions over everything else? My new Malaysian friend said that we can concentrate on this today, and later when we are 28 or something then we can find people. I know this is what a lot of people say’s, not just him. But this was the same thing I was told when I was in O’ levels and even in A’ levels. “Son, worry about this right now, you will have plenty of time to worry about everything else once this is over”. But “this” is never over, there is always a new “this”, and if you keep concentrating on just “this”, the rest of the world may pass you by; it won’t wait for you to finish “this”.

I am an ambitious person, a VERY ambitious person, I don’t see that changing. But I cannot give my whole life to it. I won’t sacrifice my other pursuits for it, my friends, or love or anything. True, sacrifices will need to be made to achieve one’s ambitions; however there is a line and one must make a choice which side of the line one wants to be on. Me? I am gonna be on the line, I will find some way to get what I want, I am going to stop concentrating on just “this” and go out there and get what I want. I am going to fulfill my ambitions while at the same time holding on to friends or love.....somehow I will do it. Consider that my new year’s resolution.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 EVERYONE!!!

“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, Like diamonds, we are cut with our own dust.” – Duchess of Malfi (1623), Act V, Scene V by Jhon Webster

I Wont See You Tonight

It has always been my philosophy, my belief, that life is all about actions and consequences, the decisions we make, and how we live with those decisions. And every once in a while, we face decisions that define the rest of our lives. We make a choice that changes who we become, what kind of life we will live. Those actions make us into who we are today. I have faced one such fork in my road of life, though that choice I made did not end well, I do not regret making it, it was good while it lasted, and in the end I believe it made me a better person. And today, I again find myself at such a point in life, something that will most definitely change the rest of my life. Right now I am in an aeroplane, on my way to Kuala Lampur, Malaysia. At the moment we have made a pit stop at the Sri Lankan airport, and to my great pleasure, they have FREE WIFI, so I will try my best to wrap this up before the plane takes off.

This day has been in the making for quite some time now, and I have been telling everyone, that I am happy to leave, and that I won’t really miss a thing from home, and that really was how I felt, WAS been the key word there. A lot of my friends, especially Areej tried to convince me that I would in fact be missing Maldives, but I really didn’t see it that way. And that was how it was as months turned into weeks, and weeks into days until finally it was 48 hrs for me to leave. On that day before my departure, I got up as usual, not really feeling any sadness or anything, but that morning as I was in a taxi listening to some songs, the random shuffler on my iphone, brought up the song that pulled me into reality. Avenged Sevenfold’s I Won’t see you tonight Part 1. It’s not really a song about leaving like this, it’s really a song about suicide, but when the song was over, it was as if everything had crashed down on me. I was leaving, and I wouldn’t be back for a really long time. Then everything I saw, reminded me of something, of some distant memory, of a strange reality that I wouldn’t see those places and those faces for a long time.

It’s not really about family, family has been there my entire life, and I am sure they will still be the same even when I come back, it’s more about friends, and how they will change in my absence. It’s about the uncertainty of it all, about the friends, and possible lovers, about leaving them all. It’s about what could have been. About what I may be missing by leaving.

As the ferry took off from Male’ I looked at two of my closest friends who had come to see me off, looking at that knowing that I would not meet them again in person for a very long time. They smiled and waved, so did I, but my heart was filled with grief. And as the ferry started off towards the airport I looked at the buildings, each one a reminder, I looked at the building housing the Hulhumale’ ferry terminal, reminding me of my class reunion at Sea House, and the breakfast during Ramadan, and the recent diner I had at Ocean Breeze. I looked at the building that previously housed the Nasandhra Palace hotel, which had welcomed me for countless parties.

Arriving at the last moment at the airport, I was soon in the plane, ready for take-off. And as the world around me soon started moving as the plane started for its ascend, the sadness I felt, was almost as great as climax that resulted from the last life changing choice I made.

Today was a day I had been looking forward to so many years, it was a dream come true, a start of a new life, but yet, it was not like what I imagined. I never thought it would feel so sad to leave Maldives, because Malaysia, as far as I heard, was a much better place. And right now sitting here in my hotel room, completing this post, I know why. No matter how good this place is, it isn’t home. Who is going to call me about every interesting that happens now? Who will I call when I get bored? Who will call to talk about the latest series? Who will I hang with that I can relate to, and who really know me? I think I will even remember and cherish those most irritating days at work.

The beginning of this year left me shattered and broken, and it took me all I had to fight through that. And it was because of my most dear friends that I grew stronger through it. Without them I would probably still be sulking around in my room. Thank you all so much for that. It took a while, but life was finally picking up in Maldives, I had good friends, a good amount of cash (although yes, if I had stayed in Male’ I would have changed jobs), and maybe even a girl I was starting to like very much after quite sometimes. As I said, it’s all about what could have been, what would have all those things become if I had stayed? And will they all still be there when I come back? Will I be forgotten? Maybe even replaced? I know that my closest friends will welcome me with open arms when I come back, but things change, stuff happen. I will be hanging with them, and they will be talking about stuff I know nothing about because I was not there.

I all ready miss you all very much, (probably even more once my parents leave) playing video games, dining at restaurants, hanging out, throwing parties that really didn’t hit it off (well at least I met someone interesting there). Every little thing, both the good and the bad. And even though I won’t see you tonight, I will NEVER forget you all.

Thank you for everything.

Patriot

Today is a historical day for our country, the end of a 30 year old regime. But this post is not about how bad or good this change will be. Its about something I realized about myself, something that today I have accepted.
Patriotism has existed for a long time, people have achieved greatness in its name, while others have used it as an excuse to commit great atrocities, perhaps even convince themselves that those acts were needed.
Patriotism in essence means to love once country above all others. Above a specific government, above one's family, one's friends even one's self. But I wonder is it worth it to sacrifice even one's own family for the good of one's country. Its a different story if these people were acting directly against the country, but to simply hold the well been of the one's you love below ones country.
Today in this day of change, I have met different types of people, people who supported this change, people who accepted it, people who were willing to give it a try, and people who were "The new president is walking, he is the devil himself for doing that". I truly am not exaggerating about the last part, maybe not those exact words, but the same context had been used.
And what did I feel? Nothing...not a damn thing, not sad, not angry, not happy. And seen these people I have both decided and realized something, I love my country, I have I believe it can be so much better. And I truly hope that the new regime can achieve that. I never have and never will swear my allegiance to any government. I am a patriot, I have known this for sometime, but that word was hard to accept seen how it is used these days. I don't know how far I can carry that flag, above who all I can love my country, but I will give it my best try. I hope to achieve something great someday, and till then I will be watching, in hope that this country is now changing the better.

"Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace — but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" - Patrick Henry

"Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President or any other public official save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country." - Theodore Roosevelt

Dreams of a Monster

It seems this is the story that won out based on ratings. So here goes. I have written a chapter two for the story. Its not short, this story is in no way short. But I hope you like it.

Here's the Link

www.crimsontales.blogspot.com

The Minds of Men

Some say that people are generally bad, that they are rotten in the inside. Others say that they are good, that they can find goodness in the hearts of everyone. But the truth is, people are just stupid, they are neither good nor bad, just really stupid. Especially Maldivians.
We demand the luxury’s that the world has to offer, yet we are not willing to lift a finger to earn it. We rather blame others then work for what we want. Recently I herd something someone said. The inhabitants of a small island had been relocated to a bigger island due to some reasons. And one woman was saying “We had to leave a lot of our things in the island when we moved, and they are still in the island. We are just a few people, and so there are only a few things, even with the normal sea vessels we have, it can be brought in just two trips, but still the government has not brought the stuff for us”. This really shows what kind of people we are. Yes, I agree, if the government did move you, they are obliged to bring your stuff for you too. But, that doesn’t mean you keep on waiting till they do it for you. Its not like you were moved to the other side of the country. As you said, you guys could easily do it yourself. So what are you waiting for? Why don’t you do it? Simply as a matter of principle? That the government HAS to do it?
As I see it these days, what many, Maldivians want to do is just sit back and relax in there houses while the government does EVERYTHING for them. And there are people actually promoting this bull shit, and more importantly people believing it. As I said before, stupid.
A friend of mine said, places like Malaysia and Singapore got there independence around the same time as us, but look at how much they have developed, and look at us. True, but you cannot compare us to them; just getting independence isn’t a corner stone for development. Those countries were better known to the world, were bigger, and had more resources and people then us. Especially people. We think a country is who ever is at the top, the leaders; true they play an important role, but a country is its people. The people of those countries worked hard to achieve that development they had. There was once a time that even us Maldivians were like that. That the people of islands worked together, that they themselves were the people who built there infrastructure and worked hard for development. But then came along the people who claimed that was all wrong. That no one should have to lift a finger. And now that’s all we want to do, we say we want this and that, and then we wait for some government contractors of some foreign country to do it for us. Many say that the development this country has seen in the past years would have occurred over natural course no matter who was ruling. I am not hear to ay anything to that. But I know that we would have progressed even further if we hadn’t stopped believing that it was our own right and responsibility, as much as it is the governments to develop this nation. I don’t believe it will really make much of a difference in the lines of development and progress no matter who is ruling if we don’t realize that.
Democracy is a nice word, it has been plastered all over the media in many different forms, modern democracy, true democracy etc etc… Especially I have herd a lot that we are working towards a modern democracy, to be on par with the “leaders” of democracy in the world. But you know what? Following some other countries, norms and values isn’t a democracy, its something like copying off a test paper. I think most of us have forgotten that very famous phrase regarding democracy; “for the people, by the people, from the people”. A democracy is whatever we want it to be, within acceptable norms of human society and our religion. We do not have to follow some countries way of life saying that they are the so called leaders of democracy.
If you truly want this country to develop, know that you will have to play a part in that. If you want your life to be better, know that you will have to work to achieve that. It’s just stupid to believe that, someone else has to do everything for you. The government has its responsibilities, and so do you. As long as you can’t accept that, this country wont get much better, no matter who’s at the top.